A Happy Birthday Indeed

It's Avery Birthday today.

As I have tried to process the fact that I have a one year old, I have of course been reminiscing about all the usual things mothers reminisce about. It's hard to find the words really to describe how I feel. I'll spare you the summary. But on this day that marks my first child's birth, I am certain that for me, there could be no greater cause for celebration.

While Avery may not have any idea that today is different or special, it was the day I became a mother--the greatest gift I have ever been given...and I can think of no better reason to celebrate (I know I said that already).

And celebrate we will.

Our Avery Jane,
I hardly know where to start! You are turning one whether I like it or not. It’s so hard to capture all my thoughts about you. As I think back over this past year, I wonder if I’d have done anything differently. Maybe. I’m sure there are many areas for improvement in my parenting. But this I know for sure. I have loved every minute of it.

Every single one.

I have soaked your babyness in. Lived it, breathed it, ate, drank, and slept it. And still its not enough. I have tried all the ways I can think to bottle this essence of you, this sweet perfect child, but it won't do. There aren’t enough photographs, or letters, or stolen minutes in the morning to capture all of you. You are magnificent. I have enjoyed every minute of this past year. From the moment you were placed in my arms I have had joy…and its never left. Yes I am tired, and yes it’s been hard, but not you. You are never hard. You are sweet and delightful and all that is good. And for you, I am better. For you I am more patient and calm. For you I am focused, and purposeful. I am stronger and more womanly. For you I have found confidence and determination that I had not known I possessed. For you I have dreams of a glorious life—visions of happiness. All for you.

Dad and I were listening to you cooh and sing in your carseat while we were driving the other day. It’s the sweetest sound we can imagine. We know how much we’ll miss it when you are grown. I almost already do. You are so joyful and alert. So interested in the world around you. You seem wise and content-- so many thoughts behind those knowing blue eyes. While I’ll miss my cooing baby girl, I look forward to hearing all about those thoughts someday soon.

Happy Birthday our darling girl!
We love you so.