Friday, February 12, 2010

Hearts Love & Zach Braff

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I am just getting around to making some Valentine's Day decorations. I am trying to just think of it as being early for next year instead of late for this year. Inspiration here.

With Valentine's Day almost here, I have been thinking a bit about love. I have kind of mixed feelings about the day. Hearts and frill and Valentines are fun, but the notion of forced romance and all the commercials for Zale's heart and diamond pendants get a little old. I don't know.

I think the most important lesson I ever learned about love was taught to me by Zach Braff in a movie. In the story he is married with his first baby on the way. He is freaking out a little and is seduced into being unfaithful to his wife. He ends up telling her and in anger she flees to her parents home. He realizes what a mistake he's made and that all he wants is is wife so he goes after her to plead forgiveness.

When he gets to her parents house, his father in law asks him why she should take him back, and he tries to explain that , "she is perfect for me and amazing and everything I need" and that he, "loves her so so much!"

The wise father in law tells him this (roughly), "Love is a selfish emotion. Its all about how somebody else makes you feel. All that really matters is what you do-- your actions towards the people you love are what count...not how great they make you feel."

While I'd certainly never turn down a bouquet of flowers on Valentines Day, what really lets me know I am loved are the things my husband does for me (and our family) on a daily basis. Putting in long hours in school in order to get job where he could provide for us. Getting up every day and going to that job, never complaining. And how he got up with our daughter early this morning so I could sleep a little longer.

He's kind, he's unwavering in his affection, and he always tries to give me what he thinks I need. I couldn't ask for more.

I'm lucky and thankful.

And trying to be a little more like him this Valentine's Day.

9 comments:

  1. That quote from the father in law is pretty much all I remember about that movie. I loved it too.

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  2. Oh, I found that I had it written down as this: "How you FEEL doesn't matter. It's what you DO for the ones you say you love that counts."

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  3. what window is this? that garland is so cute!

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  4. wise as always, Danielle! thanks! your hearts are darling!!

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  5. I have a lump in my throat. My eyes are misty.

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  6. Okay, I have to admit, when I first read "I think the most important lesson I ever learned about love was taught to me by Zach Braff in a movie" I was thinking, "Oh boy, I really hope she's not about to quote Garden State"...I'm glad you weren't referring to some lesson about getting off psych meds and really FEELING again! ha ha.

    Annnyway, I LOVED The Last Kiss, and I remember that part too! (Isn't she just his girlfriend though? I thought there was a storyline about how he didn't want to get married). Anyway, interesting to think about this. I too think Valentine's day can be phoney. BUT then I also think about the song from Fiddler on the Roof when Tevye is asking Golde if she loves him. She responds with a long list of, "I've done your laundry, cooked your meals, borne your children for the last 20 years" type of thing--as if that means yes--but again he asks her if she really LOVES him--does she really, truly love him? He wants to hear her tell him. Obviously the context is a bit different...Orthodox Jewish arranged marriage...BUUUT I like that message too! I guess I'm prone to forgetting about the romantic love dovey parts of love that are important too.

    Sorry, I don't know why I'm rambling on here in your comments...but I'm glad you got me thinking.

    And yeah, the jewelry commercials--ew. Cute garland!

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  7. (wow, that was long. eek sorry)

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  8. Sweet post Bellie.Trav is a great father and husband and I am so glad you have each other.
    Love the little colored hearts and the white curtain,did you just make that?OX, Mom

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  9. Thanks for the garland idea. I made one after the kids went to bed tonight. Love quick craft fixes that use up fabric scraps :)

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