bored

For those of you who don't know I am a nurse in a Newborn ICU. It's a great job, and one that after getting over the initial terror of having the responsibility to keep really really sick and tiny newborns alive (obviously not by myself), I really enjoy. So then I got pregnant, and pretty quickly realized that having your head over the toilet for a good percentage of the day, is not conducive to safely doing that job. I really mean that too. I think that it is important for me to be able to focus on what I am doing at work, and do my best to take care of those precious little babes. And so I took a leave of absence, which sounds like a lot of fun...a big break from work...time to do whatever I want. Except I haven't really done much. I mostly sit on the couch and watch way to much TV. Or sleep. But all good things must come to an end.

So yesterday was my first attempt at going back to work. It lasted five hours. I don't know what I was thinking. I got myself all psyched up the night before--had my little name tag and scrubs all set out-got to bed early--I even showered in the morning (which rarely happens seeing as I have to be there at 6:30 am). So I get there and things are going OK for the first hour or two, but after lugging heavy oxygen tanks and transport monitors, not getting enough to drink or time to sit, several trips to the bathroom to puke, a dizzy spell, two really unhappy babies to care for (I don't blame them), not to mention the...let's just say copious, amount of bodily fluids coming out of pretty much every imaginable orifice (and some that are not!) of the those two babies (again...I do not blame the sweet babies, and realize that dealing with that stuff is the job I chose), I pretty much threw in the towel. Oh plus I cried. Don't ask me why. I don't know. I think I was overwhelmed and didn't feel good...so I started crying when someone asked me how I was doing. Yeah. Well there was that stuff plus the fact that one of the babies I was taking care of was radioactive and unsafe for me to care for following a procedure he had. Long story, but let's just say that I am glad that the radiology tech caught on that I was pregnant (by this point in the day I was complaining a lot and loudly), and mentioned the radioactive thing. Turns out it is not as common as you might think-- you know-- to radio-activate an infant.

Oh and I heard about twelve, "Are you OK? You look really pale/flushed", and one, "Did you just throw up? Yeah? You have that look. I just felt great during my pregnancy...best time of my life. I think a women's body is just meant to be pregnant". Yeah great...I agree. I do not think however, that a women's body is meant to stand for 13 hours straight. So I went home, where I will stay for at least another month I think.

So do you have any good book recommendations? I am really sick of TV.

Also, while I am complaining, I would also like to mention that it feels like I am being stabbed in the side every time I sneeze. Is that normal?