Friday, June 6, 2008

six weeks

(Our six week old self-portrait--she didn't want to hold still for it)

Six weeks is a big milestone when it comes to having a baby. It seems to be an amount of time that gets referenced a lot. After the birth there are lots of things your OB tells you not to do for six weeks. People often tell you that "it" (having a newborn) will get easier after six weeks. And after six weeks, people sort of expect you to get out of bed and rejoin civilization again. Yesterday marked six weeks since Avery was born. I had my "six week check-up" where my OB proclaimed me to be healed and back to normal. And although I am pretty happy about that part, I am not so sure how I feel about the rest of it. I have really liked living in a little cocoon for the past six weeks, and am not sure I am ready to rejoin civilization. Yet. Although I did do my hair and put on earrings for my appointment, because after all--it has been six weeks.

What I can tell you for sure after six weeks, is that I love being a mother.

Love it.

I have lots of tender feelings about my daughter and my husband, and how things have changed in our lives. Those feelings are too tender to really explain. I think that when I look back on my life, I will always think of it in terms of life before motherhood and life after motherhood.

My dad always said that getting married doesn't really change your life very much, but having kids does. I think he was right. I feel changed.

The best way I can describe it is that before we had a child, I often felt like I was living someone else's life. I struggled with the mundane details of living--you know little jobs that have to get done--because I felt like they were pointless, and that the sum of all my energy didn't really amount to anything. I liked my job, and loved my husband, but I didn't really feel a purpose. I felt like I was doing things, killing time, waiting for my real life to start.

And now...

Now I feel like I am living my real life. I feel content, and peaceful, and like the mundane little chores of everyday life are important and worthwhile. I feel more confident and strong.

And I feel like I am more myself than I have ever been in my life.

And so... I am looking forward to rest of it.


  1. Well, I am sitting here with tears in my eyes, and a full heart, because I know exactly - exactly - what you mean.

  2. I loved this. I just know I'm going to feel the same way. Also, you look great and Avery is SO adorable!

  3. I just jumped over here from Anne Cropper's blog, and can I just say I loved it? I worry a lot about motherhood and what it will be like and whether or not I'll really enjoy it, and, well...your post gives me hope. :)

  4. you're such a babe in that picture! and so's you're baby. darling the two of you. p.s. i love reading colleen's comments, she's such a good mother in law.


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