pair/pear

I'm not depressed.

But it's almost January, and the excitement of chilly weather and snow has worn thin, and the tedium of gray days and cold has set in. Plus our heater broke and the inversion that happens in the valley where we live has caused a particularly bad spell of polluted air, and my lungs are burning.

I've been feeling glum. Christmas is over and Trav is back to work, and I am moving slowly.

And my house is messy.

And I've gotten fatter during the holidays.

And Avery is getting her last two teeth.

So I walk around the house a lot, not actually getting anything done. Just moving from chair to chair. Feeling achy. Waiting.

Waiting for the day to be over. For Trav to come home. For something to give me a boost. For Avery to stop screaming at me.

And I sit and watch her from the couch. She is getting into things. Making messes, but I am too tired to care. If it entertains her for a minute then its fine. I'll clean it up later. She empties the contents of a drawer and dumps all the straws on the ground for the millionth time, and I wonder why I never move them, or at least most of them so she can only have a few to play with?

And then I watch her as she pushes a chair up to the counter, purposefully. Her little lips pursed in concentration. She lays her body across the seat, grabbing hold of the bars sliding herself closer so she can get her feet in the rungs and maneuver a knee on the seat. First one leg, and then the next till she is standing at the counter now. The fruit bowl is in her sight. She reaches, fingertips outstretched, dangerously spanning the gap in space. She slowly scoots the fruit bowl nearer. And plucks up a juicy ripe pear.

"A Pow!"

She's proud.

So she plops down on her chair and laughs and nods her head as she samples her prize.

And I am a little awed. Of her. Has she just done all of this by herself? Is this magical little being really my baby girl?

Her accomplishment of helping herself, and finding enjoyment and nourishment in her delicious fruit gives me a certain sense of accomplishment as well.

And I feel better.


She puts the pear down on the table, satisfied with her progress there, and scoots off the chair. On to other messes now. And I realize that her hands are sticky and she's coming towards me, towards the couch,

"Mommy?"

"Yes baby?" And I wonder if its odd that I still call her that, since she is certainly not a baby anymore, and that thought makes my heart pang.

"Mommy?"

And she doesn't really have a question for me, but just likes to call to me and make sure I'm still there. Still listening.

I am.

And I scoop her up, sticky hands and face, and she holds a finger out to me.

"Uh oh!", because its covered in pear mush.

So I lick some off, which makes her laugh hysterically as we lug up the stairs. "Again," she says. She is speaking so much these days. "Again!"

And so I do it again. And her laughter perks me up. And I hug her sticky little self.

And I feel better.

So we head to the tub, which is always the place to settle when the day has made us too tired, or bored, or messy. Its a break. Its time together. Its where we find ourselves most evenings.

Its almost New Year's Eve. 2010. Can that be? And I think about ten years ago...on New Year's Eve.

We went out to dinner as a family at a fancy french restaurant. My parents used to take us to do things like that. It rained so hard that night that the whole downtown Ashland flooded the next day. Including the restaurant were we ate. And I had a snail that night. I didn't really want to, but my brother and sister urged me on, so I ate it. But I didn't chew. I just swallowed the whole garlicy buttered thing. I am always kind of the least adventurous. Which is not how I think of myself, but its the truth if I am honest.

So much has changed these past ten years. Some hard things happened in our family. A lot of wonderful things too.

Which is how life works I guess.

Avery is standing close to me. She is drawing on my face with purple bath crayon, saying "makeup", and "pretty", and she smiles the most beaming toothy grin. And I give her a kiss because I can't help it. She pets my hair and puts her hands on either side of my face and looks right into my eyes. And though I'm her mom, and she's my baby, I can't help but feel that hers is an old soul, and that she knows my heart, and that she is my friend. And she stands on my leg and presses her warm little cheek on my cheek and hugs my neck and stays there for a long time.

"Mommy?"

"Yes baby."

"Mommy."

And I feel good.

And so very glad that this life is ours.

Does Your Homework Require a Gluestick?

While vocalizing my annoyance that my pattern teacher's tardiness to class was causing me to be away from my daughter an extra 30 unnecessary minutes, the girl sitting in front of me whipped around and said, "You have a daughter? How old are you?"

"How old do you think I am?" I made her feel uneasy.

"Maybe 21 or 22?"

Too tired to think of a clever retort, and a little surprised she thought 22 was astonishingly young to have a baby, I just settled on the truth,

"I'm 28, but thanks".

And there you have it...I'm officially old.

Not because I'm 28--heavens Oprah says I won't be confidant enough even to know who I really am, or what I want until at least 45...I'm basically a baby in Oprah years,

but because I was glad that someone thought I looked younger than I really was, and because instead of being relieved that my teacher's tardiness meant 30 minutes of goofing off, I was seriously bugged that she was wasting my time and money.

I guess there is hope for me becoming a mature adult yet.

Tardiness aside, my class is lovely. It's a great outlet for my imagination and its wildly fun to have a textbook I can't wait to crack and spend some quality time with.

Wildly.

An Ideal Morning

Making yellow velvet buttons while listening to Bob Dylan on Pandora. Yep that's my idea of a good time. Seriously...you should try it.

Wondering what the buttons are for? You'll see soon...

No...I'm not pregnant

Today is about facing fears. What am I afraid of? Lots of stuff. But lately...I feel especially afraid of not being able to do something I want to do, well.

Specifically, making a clothing pattern. Which I realize I'd likely be more confident about if I had any idea what I was doing. (Although I do watch a lot of Project Runway, which should count for something).

Except I couldn't sleep the other night because the ideas were just bursting from my head.

And I have always enjoyed figuring things out.

And so I have to try...

for sleeps sake if nothing else.

Here is a very partially finished, rough, rough first attempt...its a maternity top. It's been floating in my head for awhile. Hope it works!

Anticipation

So the thing is, I felt kind of silly when I first started my Etsy shop. I kind of went into it with a very "stick my toes in and see" mentality.

I'd had my eye on this little stack of fabric for a few months now, but kept talking myself out of buying it. Some nagging thought about not actually needing it or some such thing.

And then I realized last week that I had saved up enough money from my silly little Etsy shop to make such a frivolous purchase, and so I did.

And it sure was fun opening my delightful box of colorful fabric today.
I can hardly wait to get my scissors into it!

bad at keeping secrets (no I'm not pregnant)

Remember like 17 years ago (or August) when I told you about this bookshelf project I did for the book "One Yard Wonders," Contest?

Well I won.

I was going to wait till the book was actually published to say anything, but it turns out it won't be until October, and I can't keep a secret that long. I found out today that the manuscript is finished and is now in the hands of the publisher, so its really going to happen.

Also I was planning on posting the instructions for the bookcase on my blog if I didn't win, but since its going to be in the book I don't think I am supposed to. (Although, if you you really want them email me and I'll send them to you.)

So the funny thing is that I had a few other sewing projects that were much more exciting than this bookcase, that I just didn't get done in time, so I submitted that instead. I am almost embarrassed at how easy it was to do. Oh well...I'm still excited.

I'll keep you posted about the book. I can't wait to get it...I have lots of one yard cuts of fabric hanging around my sewing room.

Until then you can join the facebook group, or read more here.

I know you're dying to.

i wish I'd thought of these

I don't have a single church-related piece of artwork in my entire home. Shocking I know. It's not because I don't want to have one, its just because most things I come across at Deseret Book aren't exactly in line with my decorating style.

I always thought, "Someone should design some church art that is less--dried floral arrangement/burgandy and green/giant gold frame-ish, and more simple and fun and colorful".

Turns out someone did.

And since I tend to be sort of an impulsive shopper when it comes to buying things like this that I really really love, I am forcing myself to wait until at least tonight to press the "Submit Order" button in the ETSY order that is currently waiting patiently in an open window on my computer. You know...to make sure I really need all three things I ordered. I have a problem with excess.

Remember...I am trying to be more mindful. And that includes spending money.

I only wish that I had thought of these. This girl's gonna make a killing.

Find them here. We'll be twins.

Brown Paper Packages...

We have had a house full of visitors the past week or two, and it has been so much fun! (Well minus the cold that Avery has been afflicted with.)

But now that things have slowed down a bit...for a few days at least, I am busy busy working on some Christmas gifts. But I can't show you photos of those.

I can show you photos of the wrapping though...which to me, is almost as good as what's inside.

Growing up, my mom went to special effort to wrap presents beautifully. It was so fun to walk past the tree and admire the gilded papers and yards of fancy wired fabric ribbons tying them. Yeah, Meier and Frank had nothing on her! It was something that started first thing in December and we got to enjoy all through the month. You could always tell which gifts were purchased and wrapped early in the Christmas season, and which were quickly done the night before, by the fanciness of their wrapping.

I love to make things look beautiful. I love giving gifts, because it means that I get to think about how I am going to wrap them. I love using real ribbon, and pretty tissue paper, and most often a plain brown or white box. I love crafting a note card. And it is all kind of silly and fleeting...but that's what makes it special I guess. Anyway, I love wrapping gifts, and I hate waiting until the last minute to do it.

This year I am reprising an idea I had three or four years ago. I lived in Omaha, and the great thing about Omaha (yes there are some) is that folks still think their junk is junk, and don't realize the wonderful repurposing potential. Their yard sales, and thrifts stores were a trove of crafting goodness.

I found these gaudy costume jewelry earrings at a yard sale and bought the lot. Then I just broke the post off the back and glued a pin in its place (although in retrospect...I could have just kept the post on...but who wants weird ear gunk on their ribbon?). Then I wrapped the gifts with simple plain paper, tied with a pink, brown, or blue velvet ribbon (LOVE velvet ribbon!), and finished with a sparkly jewel.

Honestly it was hard for me to part with them, so if you received one, I really love you. Funny thing is that I remember exactly who I gave which jewel package to, and what color of ribbon went with it, but I have no memory of what gift I gave them.

I kept at least one of each pair of jewels, and I might just part with them this year,

...unless I decide to put the posts back on and actually wear them. I am kind of tempted.

anticipation

I have been a long time collector of stuff. Not just any stuff (OK well I collect that stuff too), but stuff that when I see it, makes me feel inspired. Stuff that I intend to someday turn into other, wonderful things.

I had a DI silver spoon collection in college that Anne will recall. I have several other little collections that my husband will recall.

And this stuff just makes me swoon. I get a euphoric high from just imagining all of the possibilities. The junky frames that could be painted in funky colors, the old sweaters that could become a quilt, or a toy, the lace that could adorn a slip and would look so cute peeking out the bottom, garage sale costume jewelry that will adorn Christmas gifts perfectly with some velvet ribbon. Little pieces of everyday life that just make my imagination come alive.

The problem is that I don't always get around to completing my projects. Partly because there is only so much time.

But partly because sometimes the anticipation of what the treasured item will become is so fun, that if I actually do something with it, I won't be able to dream about all of the other things it could have become. There is also the chance that what I end up making won't be quite as great as it is in my imagination.

Actually, I once dated someone who posed that same scenario about relationships. Deep.

I got this dress at a huge warehouse clearance sale that my friend Kate invited me to. It's from J.Crew, and I am seriously in love with it. I am giddy with possibilities. All of those yards and yards of soft orange linen... I can hardly contain myself. I love you Orange Dress.

But what will you become.... A dust ruffle? An autumn table cloth? A refashioned skirt? Pillow shams? An ottoman slipcover? You'd go perfectly with some fabric I have been spying.

And if my bosoms weren't so (I am trying to think of a more eloquent word for big here), and I could fit them beneath the 3 inches of fabric they were allowed by your design...I think that I would just put you on and wear you around...maybe to the grocery store, because why not? Or out for a walk so I could swish your wonderfully excessive ruffles in the wind.

Sigh.

If you wonder what I do with my spare time...It's this.

Stay tuned for the "after".

I live for this stuff

Since Avery was born I have been living my life in a very,

"This may be my only baby girl and I don't want to regret not doing anything,"

way.

And so I spend a little too much money on pretty little things for her. I keep the video camera at my bedside. I play tickle her belly instead of doing the dishes. (Ok I don't really need an excuse to not do dishes).

And I love it! I love feeling happy about my life. I love feeling like there is nothing else I would rather be doing in my life at this very moment then being her mother.

So call me crazy...I'm used to it, but I have already started planning her first birthday party.

Yes I know she's only four months old, and yes I know she will probably have little idea of what is going on, but I live for this kind of stuff, and I had to wait FIVE whole years of marriage before I got to unleash my inner mommy.

Do you want to see what I have so far?

(except I got the pink one, which was an agonizing decision...I wanted all three!)

Well this stuff plus an ever growing list of ideas. I'm serious. I have a word document titled "Avery's First Birthday". The cake, the fabrics, the music...

I can't wait!

But Shhh... Don't tell Avery.

crafting

If you are wondering what a person who has no job, no kids, and basically stays at home all day does...

It's pretty much this:

(how to yo-yo go here)

Making yo yo pillows,

getting ready for baby,

and hoping I will be this kind of mom.

I still would really, really, love photographer suggestions!

Thank You!

Thanks so much for all the great info and advice about the onesies. I'll let you know when I get things up and running. In the meantime...

Congratulations Katrina!

You won the onesie (and I swear it was random...but it is pretty nice that she is actually having a baby.)

So email me your address.

fidgety

It occurs to me that I have not mentioned that I quit my job recently. I'll spare you the boring details, but let me just say that I had a few rough days that were so busy and hectic that I didn't get a bite of food or moment off my feet for a solid 8 hours. And I'm not exaggerating. So between that, and the gown/glove/baby-warming-heat-light induced dizziness, I figured it was time to throw in the towel, with the promise that I can come back after I've had my baby if I want too. We'll see. ( I guess that was actually a lot of details).

Anyway, I was sort of unprepared for the little void that was left in my life. Don't get me wrong, I am not really missing work so much as missing feeling like I've accomplished something (although I do miss the babies...but that will be remedied soon!). And I have Plenty of things that I should be doing, or could be doing...like the dozen half-started baby projects I have going. But I need a break even from that sometimes.

So I have been kicking around this idea of starting a little (very little) crafting business. Business doesn't even seem like the right word because it immediately makes it seem like not fun. Let's just say, I love sewing and it would be fun to see if I really could make something that other people would actually want to buy. Plus I would feel justified in hanging out in my craft room all day. There.

So I was thinking that I would sell these onesies that I have been making here and there for a while, possibly on ETSY, or something. Here are a few of the one's I have done lately ( I am wishing that I had taken pictures of some that I have given away...oh well, you get the point):









So my question for you is: What do you think would be a good price for these? And do you have a brand of onesie that you just love? Since my baby is not actually born yet, I am still discovering these things. I have sort of figured out that the Gerber ones run really small. Also, how do you feel about long sleeves? Do you actually ever buy things like this from places like ETSY or would it be better to do some other way?

And in thanks for your comments, I think I will give a onesie away to a random commenter...on Monday (that seems to be the thing to do in blog world). I hope that's incentive for your much appreciated advice.


OK, Well that is that. Wish me luck.

Trav's family came over for dinner on Sunday, and being the kind souls they are, refused to let me do the dishes ( a job I rather detest anyway).

Imagine my delight when I went to unload the dishwasher only to find the silverware sorted and the cups arranged in rainbow order, which I'm sure I don't have to tell you makes for an all together delightful unloading experience. Thanks Jane.

Happy Wednesday!

3-D ultrasound...what will they think of next?

In Love

Can't wait to kiss those cheeks!

My brother thinks she looks like she's made of silly putty, but I swear she's got Trav's lips.


All I can say is that technology is pretty amazing,
and we are suckers for it.

my sparkle

(My pink cups make me sparkle)

So I have meant to, but never really explained the title of my blog. Although most of you either get it already, or have more to do in your lives than ponder the meaning of my blog title, I am going to tell you anyway.

So the story goes like this (yes there's a story):

A long time ago, (think early 20's) in place far away (OK Provo), I was on a lovely walk with one of my very best friends Emily (Em do you remember?), and we were talking as good friends do on walks, about life and boys and our dreams. I think I was struggling with trying to decide about a certain boy or two (who wasn't?), but other than that, was feeling generally like there was nothing fun going on in my life. It must have been winter. Anyway, I was just feeling...I don't know...blah. Like I wasn't excited, or feeling passionate or inspired by anything. So in trying to adequately describe my quandary, I said,

"Em, I just feel like I've lost my sparkle."

And that was the perfect way to describe it. And she got it. Because every girl wants to feel some sparkle in her life.

So there have many times since that walk that I have felt my sparkle wax and wane. But one thing I have realized is that the things that make us feel joyful as women, are often universal and help us feel connected to each other. And talking about them and sharing them with each other makes us feel...I don't know- more normal or understood (because for me the walks are really not about the exercise).

So when I started this blog, I wanted to share all the things that make me feel inspired and excited and fulfilled (OK and sometimes complain),

like creating pretty things,
or fun with friends,
or making a home,
or my funny sweet husband,
or my someday dreams,
or right now excitement

because it's my sparkle, and I know you get what I mean.

Onesie Tutoral (sort of)

A few months ago I posted a picture of a onesie that I made and a few people asked me to explain how I did it. So here are the instructions, and I really hope they make sense. It's a fun project, easy to do, and you don't need a sewing machine. The whole project really hinges on this fusible webbing, which I have learned can also be used to bond paper to fabric, or paper to paper. OK here is the kind I used...you can get it at a fabric or craft store (Getting the double stick kind makes it a whole bunch easier):

Next you will need any scraps of fabric that strike you fancy. Just make sure you wash and press them first (oh also, wash your onesies!).
And pick a contrasting embroidery floss to finish your design.
OK, this is the tricky part. you will want to cut out a design that you like and think might look cute on a onesie. I would recommend choosing one that is pretty simple and that doesn't have too many little points or details (it makes the stitching part hard). I found some cute animal templates here, but really anything could work...a cookie cutter, a coloring book, or draw something.


Next you trace your design onto the fusible webbing (it comes with paper on the outside that you will peel away), and cut it out. This part is pretty easy, just make sure you pay attention to which way you want your shape to face on the finished onesie. After you trace and cut out the shape on the webbing, peel away one side of the paper and stick it to the WRONG side of your fabric (I use this particular webbing because it has just enough stick to keep it in place while cutting). Then cut your fabric piece out around the webbing. It is important to cut right up against the webbing so when it comes time to iron, your edges will stay put. Now, peel away the remaining paper from the webbing

Place your shape face down on your onesie, and iron.

Then you repeat all the previous steps if you have a second piece of fabric in your design. Be careful when you iron not to fray the edges of your fabric. Just push down on the iron, and don't do a lot of side to side motion.

Now your design should be nice and stuck in place. I used three strings of embroidery floss to sew around the edges (it comes with six total), but you can use however many you want. Just keep in mind that you are sewing through two layers of fabric and a layer of glue, so it can get a little hard to get the needle through with lots of thread. Another thing you could do is zigzag around the edge with a sewing machine (I think it might be quicker).

I added a little button eye to this friend, but again...you can do whatever you want! And in case you are wondering, I washed mine and it came out looking great.

So there you go. I hope you have fun with this. Email me if you have any questions, at daniellebwilson@gmail.com.


HAPPY CRAFTING!


Oh, and for those of you who are waiting for the onsies I have promised...they are coming;)